Some rules to follow for St. Patrick’s day

1. Wear a hat that is green, has a four leaf-clover on it or something to do with Ireland.

 (makes you look cool when you are totally drunk)

2. Start Early. The Irish in Ireland drink during all meals. Keep in the tradition and do the same.

(6am, so what, start with an Irish Coffee)

3. Don’t pretend you’re an Irish-American when you’re clearly not. If your last name is Steinberg or Lopez, you’re not fooling anyone. Remember, everyone is “Irish” on St. Patrick’s Day. No reason to lie!

(Tyree Brown, you’re clearly not Irish, just saying)

4. Find a real Irish Pub. Don’t go to the local trendy “Irish Pub” that’s main course is hot dogs with German potato salad. Most decent size cities have real Irish Pubs!

(exactly – I wonder how many here will get the joke)

5. Drink Irish booze! As an Irish-American I hate seeing Americans drinking Bud, Coors and other crapy beer during St. Patrick’s Day.

6. Women, be sweet. It’s St. Patrick’s Day. Let us men feel lucky. I’m not saying sleep around. I’m saying dress like a slut and flash a boob or two….. Show that thong off!